Whether I am at work, at the gym, meeting with friends, or dancing the night away with my love, whether I’m fighting against oppressive forces or offensive people (that’s “they” in this blog post), I mostly express joy. Why, you wonder? Let me explain, and hopefully inspire you doing the same going forward.
I’ve noticed that, despite all the misery “they” throw at us, I’ve learnt NOT to tap into the negativity “they” want me to be in. I’ve learnt that “they” will stop at nothing to make sure “we” are miserable. So, this part of my “Queer Communication” series is about keeping “them” from getting to us, emotionally. I’m going to show you one way to do that.
DO YOU Fight on “Their” TERMS – or on YOUR OWN?
This concept is so simple, that you may think it is too simple to confront the complex issues we face every day. We will never be able to face all of the sh** thrown at us, What we can do, however, is show “them” that we are in control of our loves and lives.
Seeing what is going on in the world, made me wonder how to better fight the misery “they” throw at us every day. I know how easily we fall into the trap of blindly matching the negative, rigid energy of those who wish to erase us: the fascists, colonialists, capitalists (that’s “them”, by the way). “They” provoke in many ways, “they” want us to be defensive, “they” want us to fight, to protest, to criticise and comment on social media. “They” keep us busy, making us fight on “their” terms, so “they” stay in control of us.”They” are wasting our time, deliberately.
Question: when was the last time you fell into that trap? Let me put it clearly: when did you last go on social media? Not so long ago, right?
After many decades of studying how “their” systems of power operate (sure, I have been part of them), I have learned some truths about oppressive communication practices. For instance: “they” create effective tools just to keep us occupied, to control us and to monitor us. 24/7.
BIG BROTHER IS Watching YOU!
I call social media “fascist tools”. Yes, I know you’re on them, like I am – and very likely you are on them a lot. I’m pretty selective, balancing the pros (connectivity and information sharing) with the cons (being monitored 24/7 and providing precious data for free). I’m not suggesting you need to abandon social media completely; that wouldn’t be realistic. However, I do suggest using them with care and restraint, allowing you to use your creativity more effectively across other media. Please be aware, because social media is killing intelligence and creativity as we speak (or better: post).
And let me add this: if I say that “they” do a pretty good job in keeping us busy (like on social media), “they” do a pretty good job in making it hard for us to collect truthful and reliable information. Ask yourself: do you still read? I ask you: will you read this blog post? Of course, I would love you to, but I need to be realistic. For my non-readers (not reading this…): I will also discuss this topic in one of my future “Rayge” performances.
Disrupting a Grim Narrative
Okay, so this is what I’ve come to learn, looking at the current situation. We all agree that we must and will resist. Next to the known ways to resist (like organising and joining protests and boycotts, being part of Queer communities and collectives, and using social media in a deliberate way), I believe the “other” way to resist is by physically showing that our lives are valuable, beautiful and sustainable. Unapologetically, uncompromisingly, as an expression of life as we are meant to be: human. And real.
When we communicate through joy, dancing, loving, and smiling, we disrupt the grim narrative they’ve written for us. We show that we are not just surviving; we are thriving. “They” do not like that.
I want to add one word to this topic of communicating our joy: “visibility”. Because: if you’re not visibly showing “them” our love and joy (our resistance), we will not be resisting much, will we?
The Power of Joy
Historically, regimes that seek to control their people always start by policing pleasure, art, and expression. We see that happening as we speak. “They” want conformity, and compliance, and that is not what we will give them, right? Loud and visible joy does disturb any authoritarian mindset because they cannot easily control it.
Our joy is not always frivolous. The way I see it, expressing joy is a strategic, deliberate choice.
This blog post came to life in the gym; there, I always see other people looking at the way I express myself. My gym is, like many similar places, very performative, macho and toxic. I’m not going along with that!
Being performative all day is such a waste of time.
My crop-top. My painted nails. My dancy moves on the cross-trainer, like I’m at a house party. I’m showing that I feel comfortable being myself. Which also means that my training will be much more effective. Good vibes encourage my body to support me even more. When I choose to smile while dancing on the gym equipment, I don’t just express my positivity. I show resistance; a refusal to fall into “their” toxicity and conformity. I choose to NOT tap into the energy around me, and use my own positive energy to confront the ugly realities of the world.
Don’t Let “Them” Use You
I literally look the judgmentalists straight in their eyes, smiling and showing that I am thriving. And let me tell you something else: based on my own experience, “they” really are pretty miserable themselves. But, I do allow “them” to be miserable. They deserve to be, don’t they?
I know. Though it sounds so easy, this is not something that I (or you) do easily. I make sure I am prepared, understand who I am facing, and move along independently.
I use social media only to connect and inform; not much more. I’m not wasting my time there. Remember: social media are fascist-owned and controlled. “They” use our data to control us, and their algorithms to steer us. “They” waste our time and good vibes – I think that’s criminal… Maybe you’d like to read my post about Dis- and Misinformation (here).
Driven by Our Neurodivergency
As Queers, we actually are pretty good at communicating. We always had to be creative, in order to survive, right? We have more strengths. You may not expect what I’m about to tell you. One of strengths is our neurodivergence. “They” want you and me to believe that we are less because of it.
NO, WE ARE NOT. ON THE CONTRARY.
For many of us in our Queer communities, our communicative and creative strengths are enhanced by our beautifully neurodivergent brains and our collective imperfections. I believe that we are the real creative ones, because our horizons are traditionally wider.
I’m very okay with my neurodivergence. And I use it well; it has helped me create Rayge.Uncovered and the concept of Queer Communication, and a lot more…
I’ve always known that I don’t fit the standard. However, it took me quite a while to understand what it was about. That it’s not as bad as “they” want me to think it is. Yes, they tried to change me, “cure” me, make me fit into a mould that would never fit me. My resistance came late, but it’s out there now. I’m not denying that I carry a lot of anger about the fascist, capitalist violence and racist exclusion. But instead of letting this anger burn me up from inside, I transform it into activities that I know I am good at, and enjoy doing. Like Rayge, my Queer Communication scribblings, and the upcoming stuff I will tell you about later. I have learnt to transform the toxic energy “they” fed into me into a positive drive forward.
I don’t panic about the future, either, however grim it may look today. Yes, like all of us, I do have my “off” days. Even then, I make sure that, whatever happens, I keep smiling, I keep moving, I keep showing myself. I don’t succumb to toxic pressure.
Rayge.Uncovered: Taking Joy Everywhere
This exact philosophy is at the heart of my activist performance act, Rayge.Uncovered. My monthly show “Rayge Raydio” is built on the same principles. When I use my body as a Human Canvas during a live performance, I am literally embodying radical queer joy in spaces where it is least expected. I’ll step into any room to laugh, to cry, to hug, to connect, to dance, and to make our queer love and care visible and real. At the same time, I share my resistance.
Therefore, when you join my act, you will experience a lot of emotions. You’ll learn, for example:
- To set boundaries by claiming and protecting your space; not just by fighting, but by creating a strong and authentic positive energy;
- To celebrate your neurodivergence, and other imperfections that “they” want you to believe are wrong/bad. In my “Human Canvas” act, for instance, I do that by literally exposing my raw, authentic body. There is nothing wrong with our bodies;
- To never look away from the toxicity, but instead to face and return the toxic energy of oppressors by showing love, joy, and wisdom.
Honestly, JOY IS SUCH A STRONG TOOL. And “they” hate it, because they know they can’t get to us.
To me, this part of Queer Communication feels so natural. It may require practice; don’t expect it to come easily. You’ll get there, and I’m here to help… My purpose is to help you get there, supporting our resistance in a slightly different way.
I invite you to show your resistance through joy. By refusing to hide your smile, you’ll help build a safer place for all of us. I do it everyday, everywhere.
Celebrating Differences and Imperfections
Our Queer predecessors resisted through underground parties, street protests disguised as celebrations, and through lots of care and love. They knew that staying independent and celebrating our differences and imperfections are what keeps us more than alive. That has not changed, despite the threats we need to face.
Let’s reclaim our unique place in the world today by expressing our joy, unapologetically and unconditionally. Let’s turn our anger and our fear into joyful acts of resistance, supporting our unique ways to resist “them”. Let our neurodivergence be our strategic and creative edge.
Now, go out and love, dance, sing, and laugh like your life depends on it—because it does.
alfred-jansen.com 